When in Rome
by WannabeMarySue
Summary: A new island. An insane and flamboyantly gay emperor. Nami's usual trickery. And poor Zoro and Sanji get caught up in it all. Sit back with the Straw Hat pirates and enjoy the show as Zoro and Sanji battle their feelings...for each other!


"I still can't believe that shit-swordsman is doing this!" Sanji muttered between his cigarette clenching teeth as he paced the limited floor space in the small room he and a few of his fellow crewmates were occupying.

"I can handle myself, goddammit!" he said louder, stomping his right foot and involuntarily putting a dent in the concrete floor.

"Don't go all diva on us bro!" Franky said at an ill attempt to placate the distraught cook, "If he hadn't stepped up...well-" he couldn't finish his sentence because the snickering he had been attempting to quell got the best of him.

"It isn't funny!" Sanji yelled before kicking the cyborg in the chest.

"Well cook-san, even if the situation is...different...at least you know swordsman-san can handle whatever they throw at him. So you shouldn't worry." Robin said with an all-knowing smile playing across her lips.

"Worried? Me? About the moss-head? Never my sweet Robin-chan! I am simply angry that he felt the need to step in and save me! I didn't-_don't_ need saving!"

Their conversation was cut short, though when the red curtain that served as the door to the small room they were being kept in, swished open revealing Nami, Usopp, Chopper and two very large guards.

"Well," Nami said while eying the guards flanking her on either side, "It's settled. Emperor Nero has accepted Zoro's challenge, _but_ he is changing the rules."

"What rules?" Brooke asked from his perch on a small cushioned ottoman.

"Well," Nami said, not quite meeting Sanji's single pleading eye, "Zoro will be pitted against this societies best warriors in a fight to the death; if he loses...Nero gets yourhandinmarriage." The last part was said very fast to avoid the obvious look of hatred and muffled fear that washed across the cook's face.

"But if Zoro wins," Nami continued quickly, "well, um-this is the weird part, apparently their custom here is to give the victor the hand of whomever he is fighting to protect..."

"So," Franky said while poorly trying to suppress a grin, "you are saying that cook-bro here has to marry a dude no matter what! _And_ if Zoro wins Sanji _has to_ marry him?"

"Wha-how-no! No, no, no, no, no!" Sanji chanted, childishly covered his ears and shaking his head.

"Yes," Usopp said staring at Sanji's uncharacteristic behaviour, "he-er his majesty was very adamant that we not break any traditions on our stay here or he won't honor our agreement."

"How did this even happen?" Sanji moaned, sinking down to lean against the wall and cradle his spinning head in his hands.

* * *

_They were surrounded on all sides with tall warriors pointing sharpened spears at their heads. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, but Zoro as usual had gotten lost along the way to the only city on the small island _and_ Luffy had somehow succeeded in _knocking_ himself out with Usopp's latest faulty invention. "Captain Usopp's Knockout Glove" _

_It had worked a little too well._

_ This had left Sanji all alone to protect the ladies while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on his other crewmates. They had all been preparing to fight when suddenly a voice rang out from behind the wall of legionaires, "Oh my! Such beauty and grace! How...sensual!"_

_ Shuddering at the possessive tone, Sanji turned to kick whatever bastard dared try to hit on his Nami-san and Robin-chan. A tall man with greasy, dark hair and a wild look in his black, beady eyes stepped forward, his fur-covered cloak swishing out behind him. _

_ Nami had taken a step back, posotive the creepy man was coming for her. Instead, he bypassed Nami, ignoring her completely, and instead headed straight for Sanji. Torn between defending the man's lack of appraisal of Nami's beauty and defending himself, Sanji didn't move until it was too late. _

_ The man's cold, scaly hand reached out and touched his face, sweeping along his cheek bone before ghosting across his lips and down his neck. _

_ "What the hell?" Sanji shouted as he jumped backwards away from the touch of the other man. _

_ "Yes!" the other man said, "you shall do quite nicely!"_

_ "What would you like us to do with them, your highness?" one of the soldiers asked._

_ "Why, this lovely man is going to be my queen!" the strange man exclaimed._

_ Everyone froze, shell shocked. Sanji finally broke out of his shock and reacted loudly and vehemently._

_ "Oh _hell_ no, you greasy old man!"_

_ "You can't marry Sanji!" Chopper had shouted growing into heavy point despite his obvious fear. _

_ "Yes I can!" the man had replied, "I am the emperor and this sexy man _will_ be my bride!"_

_ "I am not a woman!" Sanji protested with disgust, "Not that there is anything wrong with being a woman, they are the most beautiful creatures in the world!"_

_ "I know you aren't a woman..." the Em__peror had replied with a sick smirk on his lips. _

_ Just then, the ranks of the surrounding soldiers had been broken by an extremely disoriented and extremely pissed green-haired swordsman. _

_ "Where the hell have you been?" Nami cried, desperate for some help with the strange situation they had somehow landed themselves in. _

_ "I was going back to the _Sunny_ but you guys moved it!" Zoro growled, not caring about the soldiers that were now pointing their spears at him. _

_"No!" Everyone shouted, "You got lost!"_

_"Tck, I don't get lost; you all get lost!" Zoro replied with an eyeroll, "So, what did I miss?" he asked, finally noticing his crewmates situation. _

_ "This crazy emperor guy wants to marry Sanji!" Usopp cried, too torn between laughing at the absurd statement and crying at the desperate situation to add any embelishment to his exclamation. _

"_What?" Zoro said, a hint of menacing growl creeping into his voice in what Robin amusedly pinpointed as jealousy. _

_Zoro turned to the greasy haired man with a demonic look in his eyes and said, "He refuses."_

"_Don't refuse things for me you shitty swordsman!"_

"_Do you want to marry this guy baka-cook?"__  
"Tck, nevermind..."_

_The strange emperor was looking on with an amused look on his face; smirking he said, "I will not retract what I said."  
"Then, I will just have to kill you." Zoro replied darkly._

"_How did you get to that conclusion so fast?" Nami and Usopp cried while sinking to their knees._

_Ignoring them, Zoro drew his swords and prepared to lunge at the emperor. _

"_Ah, ah, ah...not so fast! You can't fight me! It is beneath my stature! But, I can offer you a deal, a challenge, percei..."_

"_Challenge?"_

"_Yes, you fight my best warriors in our arena! If you win, this lovely specimen of a man can go free, if I win...well let's just say the wedding bells will be tolling soon!"_

"_Fine," Zoro grunted, the same menacing look in his eyes._

* * *

Shuddering at the memory, Sanji pulled himself back to the present and said, "Well, I would rather marry that stupid marimo than that creepy-ass emperor"

"Oooh! So you do like Zoro!" Usopp said before realizing it. Ducking and cowering, Usopp hid behind Franky to escape the wrath of Sanji's left foot.

"No, I do not like that stupid moss-head! Well, I mean I am thankf-I mean he is ok-nevermind!" Sanji protested, very confused. Currently, his brain had decided to go on strike, leaving his mouth to flounder around pathetically with insults that would have once been scathing.

A soldier had joined them in the now cramped room and said, "His majesty would like you to join him in his private viewing box for the festivities."

"Well, we can't say no to the emperor!" Nami said with a nervous laugh before following after the soldier.

"No," Sanji sighed, "I guess we can't"

The rest of the crew filed out after Nami with Usopp stuck in the back dragging Luffy's still unconscious body.

* * *

Arriving in the balcony that overlooked the huge, oval shaped arena, the Straw Hat crew (or what was left of it) quickly claimed the seats far away from the golden throne that sat in the dead center of the spacious box.

Next to the heavily decorated throne sat a smaller less ornate one. And Emperor Nero was excitedly motioning for Sanji to sit in it. Glaring at the stifled snickers that emanated from the back of the room, Sanji fought down the blush that was threatening to creep up his neck and perched on the edge of the simple throne.

"Very good!" the Emperor said before turning to address the crowds that had gathered in the stands that surrounded the arena, "We are gathered here today to watch as this man, Zoro, fights to the death for the hand of my possible bride to be, Black Leg Sanji!"

As hoots, whistles and hollers rose up from the stands as well as one very prominent, "I never agreed to that!" Sanji sunk down lower on his throne.

Below him, five warriors stepped out from hidden recesses in the walls. Dressed in simple leather and armor armed only with a sword and shield each, they formed a loose circle around the green-haired swordsman.

_Zoro can take down people like that no problem_ Sanji thought to himself, yet he still found his hands shaking ever so slightly as he lit another cigarette. Once the small, white stick had been successfully lit and clenched between his teeth, he returned his hands to clutching at the armrests on either side of his throne. Robin was the only one who noticed. From beside him, the emperor gave the signal to begin and quickly, the fight below was on.

The warriors were not holding back. Swinging their heavy swords, they strategically worked together to rain deadly blows down on the swordsman while still keeping their own defenses up. Not deterred, Zoro blocked each jab with his own unique santuryuu style before preparing for his own attack. As Zoro crouched down to gain momentum for his imminent attack, Sanji's hands tightened almost reflexively on the armrests.

Sanji watched as the swordsman angled the two swords in his hands and sliced them throughout the air, effectively incapacitating two of his opponents. The crowd gasped in awe and horror as the two bodies thudded against the packed dirt ground; Sanji though, found himself thinking about what would happen after Zoro inevitably won.

Surprisingly, he realized that he didn't dread marrying Zoro; he just dreaded how Zoro would respond to it. Did Zoro like him? Not that Sanji like him...he was a man after all. _Focus on the fight!_ Sanji scolded himself, appalled at his train of thought.

In the arena below, Zoro had cut down another opponent, leaving only two warriors left. They circled the swordsman warily, looking for chinks in his figurative armor. Finally, in one last coordinated attack, the one on the left lunged forward and faked to the right, and while Zoro had anticipated this and was already in position to block the blow, he was not ready for the second warrior who had dove into the opening made by the first man. Slicing across Zoro's arm the man opened a huge gash in the bundle of hardened muscle on his bicep.

"That bastard," Sanji muttered, his left foot twitching. Again, the only one to notice Sanji's worry was the crew's archaeologist.

Down below, the gash on his arm had spurred Zoro into finishing the fight. Crossing his swords across his chest once again, he crouched down and then leapt out with impressive strength at his two assailants. Slicing them down in one fell swoop, Zoro landed behind them and gracefully sheathed his three katana.

Sanji was startled from the internal war he had been conducting over what was going to happen next by the ringing voice of Emperor Nero.

"It seems we have a winner! Well, we will still be have a wedding tonight! Just not mine I guess!" he cried apparently still happy, regardless of losing Sanji.

At that exact moment, several scantily dressed women came into the room tittering and giggling before surrounding him.

"Oh my dear lovely angels! What did I do to be graced with your lovely presences?" Sanji cried while attempting to stifle a nosebleed.

Giggling some more, one stepped forward and said, "We are hear to prepare the bride!"

"Oh yes my lovely ladies! Wait? Why am I the bride and not that shitty marimo?"

* * *

Down below, in the arena, the Straw Hat crew with a now awake Luffy was congratulating Zoro on his win.

"Great job! I knew you could handle it; although the Great Captain Usopp was at the ready to save you if need be! You do realize though that you have to marry Sanji now?" Usopp said warily.

Zoro sighed through the grimace that had settled on his face before turning to Luffy and saying, "If I have to go through with this, then will you be my best man, Luffy?"

"Yosh! Of course! As long as there is meat at the wedding!"

Everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes and Usopp said sarcastically, "They'll make sure to make a bacon bouquet just for you, Luffy..."

"Yes! MEAT!"

Nami, having ignored the idiotic exchange between her Captain and his sharpshooter suddedenly smiled and-never one to miss out on an opportunity to make money _and_ to embarrass someone-said, "If Zoro has a best man, then that means Sanji needs a maid-of-honor, right? I think I am going to go have a little _chat_ with him!"

Robin, with one last look at the slight blush that had crept onto the tanned neck of the swordsman that she was sure had nothing to do with the fight that had just happened, turned and walked off to follow Nami.

Everyone else just stared at Zoro.

"What?" he grunted.

"You're really going to do it?" Brooke inquired.

"Do what?"  
"Get married of course!" Chopper squeaked, never failing to be surprised at Zoro's selective memory.

"Oh. Well, yes I suppose I have to, don't I? I mean...you don't honestly believe that I _want_ to marry that shit-cook! As soon as we get off this fucked up island we are getting a divorce!"

"Wait," Luffy said, "does that mean Sanji is gonna have your last name?"

"Oh my gosh," Usopp said, "It does! Roronoa Sanji! It kind of has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

"Shut up both of you!" Zoro growled before sitting down on the ground.

"Um, bro? What are you doing?" Franky asked, perplexed.

"If I am getting married tonight then I'll be damned if I am not well rested for it!"

"Oh. Okay..."

* * *

"Oohh! I am so jealous of your flawless skin!" a young woman trilled as she spread a light cream on Sanji's fair skinned face.

"Oh my dear! Your skin is beyond perfection!" Sanji crooned back. Nami made a retching sound from her seat in the corner. All of the "bride's" helpers turned and glared at her, and Robin just giggled quietly behind her hand.

"As I was saying, Sanji-kun," Nami said, "I am very honored that you have accepted me as your maid-of-honor on your wedding day!"

"I would much rather you be _my_ bride rather than my maid-of-honor, but I am sure you will look ravishing in your dress!"

"Speaking of which, cook-san, what will you be wearing on your wedding night?" Robin asked.

"Not a dress that is for sure!" Sanji said as he scanned the room for what he could possibly be wearing. He was quickly presented with a pure white tuxedo with black adornments and a crystal blue bow tie. It was well made and brand new, something Sanji appreciated a lot more than he let on.

* * *

After several more hours of pampering and preparing for Sanji and heavy napping for Zoro, it was time for the wedding.

The entire city it seemed had turned up for the event, not deterred at all by the fact that both the groom _and_ bride were male. The palace courtyard had been transformed into a beautiful outdoor church, with rows of delicate chairs decorated with white, blue and green flowers.

Everyone was seated, and the music had begun to play, yet Sanji found himself unable to move from his hidden point at the end of the aisle. Franky stood next to him, prepared to walk him down the aisle since old man Zeff wasn't there to do it. Not that Sanji cared or anything. But what had him so transfixed was Zoro.

Who knew the man could look so good in a tux? His tuxedo was pitch black with white adornments and a green bow tie that matched his hair exactly. The cut of the tux emphasized his well built body perfectly, but what confused Sanji the most was _why the hell _he was having thoughts like that in the first place.

Finally, unable to wait any longer, Franky firmly seized the crook of Sanji's elbow and steered him down the long aisle towards the altar, _and Zoro. _About halfway there, Sanji realized something he hadn't thought about before; he was going to have to kiss Zoro.

_Kiss Zoro_.

Kiss. Zoro.

_Oh god._ Sanji thought. But suddenly, it was too late to run away. He was at the altar.

* * *

Zoro looked at Sanji with a bored expression on his usually scowling face, but underneath, Zoro was a mess of confusion, lust and undefined feelings. So confused in fact, that he almost missed the part where he was supposed to say "I do." He had barely choked out the words when the reverend hurried on.

Faintly, he heard Sanji say "I do," beside him. Oh god, he remembered what came next.

"You may now kiss the brid-er groom-um man...you may now kiss the man," the reverend said, mopping at the sweat that was beading on his brow while thinking, _I do _not_ get paid enough for this..._

Both men turned to look at each other, eying the others face and _lips._ Gulping, Zoro took a step forward, winding one strong arm around Sanji's lean and surprisingly supple waist. Pulling him closer so their chests pressed together, Zoro leaned down every so slightly, letting Sanji's nicotine scented breath tickle across his face before he claimed those lips for his own.

* * *

Sanji felt the smooth, hard lips melt against his own and suddenly everything around him disappeared. All he felt was warm, smooth lips moving against his own; he tasted cool mint and a hint of metal and somehow, Sanji knew that this was so much more than a kiss. This was the start of something he could not even begin to describe.

Then, all too quickly, the kiss ended, leaving Sanji wanting more, so much more.

Sanji looked over at Zoro who had a strange look on his face, a mix between bestial want and a soft yearning. At least Sanji knew they both felt the same way. What it was they felt though, remained to be seen.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, the emperor was there and then Zoro was taken away from him, off dancing with some very pretty girl. And then Nami was there, dancing and congratulating him and his slight jealousy was completely overrun by Nami's beauty. Then Luffy was there, a steak clutched in one hand and a chicken wing in the other shouting something about bacon bouquets and meat sauce.

Confused and alone in the crowded after party, Sanji sought out a quiet corner to sit, drink and think in. When he finally found one though, it was already occupied, by none other than his husband.

"What do you want shit-cook?" Zoro mumbled around his mug of sake.

"Nothing, 'm just looking for a quiet place to sit, stupid marimo." The insult was only half-hearted.

"I thought you would be enjoying the attention from all the ladies," Zoro said, hoping Sanji would take the bait.

Instead of rising to grab the hook, Sanji said, "It isn't like I can do anything with them now...I am a married man. Even if it is just you."

"It isn't like we will be married for long. As soon as we get out of here and onto the next island we can file for a divorce."

"You really want to get rid of me that quickly moss head?" Sanji asked.

"Well," Zoro said rubbing the back of his neck, "unless you don't wanna..."

"No! I do want to," Sanji cried, "well...unless you don't want to."

"Oh this is stupid!" Zoro said chugging down his sake.

"Don't tell me you didn't feel it!" Sanji said suddenly, "I saw it in your eyes!"

"Feel what?" Zoro said gruffly while avoiding Sanji's searching eye.

"When we kissed," Sanji said, climbing onto his hands and knees to creep closer to the lounging swordsman, "if felt amazing didn't it? I mean, the way our lip-err, this is awkward, isn't it?"

"Just a little shit-cook. But I guess we have to talk about it, don't we...we are married now?"

"Well, yea I guess we do have to talk about it. I might be good with words though, but you sure as hell aren't." Sanji said with a smirk.

"What?" Zoro cried indignantly, "I am far better than a shit-cook like you with words!"

"Please," Sanji said, "The only reason you fight so much physically is because you could never win an argument!"

"I could too!"

"You can't even come up with clever names for your attacks! One of them is named onigiri after all! That is food, Zoro! _Food, _not an attack."

"Just shut up baka-cook, at least I can fight!"

"You wanna do this? Because I can kick your ass anytime!" But before Sanji had a chance to, he found himself otherwise preoccupied. With Zoro's mouth.

"Damn," he mumbled without meaning too. Zoro merely smirked before deepening the kiss. And he really was good with his mouth, tongue especially; maybe it came from always having that sword in his mouth. But that was besides the fact.

Zoro's tongue had slipped passed his lips and into his mouth, carressing his cheeks and wrestling with his own tongue. Sanji tasted the same mix of mint and metal but now it was faintly laced with the strong taste of Sake. Not that Sanji minded. He let his own tongue join th fray; tasting every part of Zoro's mouth before he finally pulled away to gulp in a few breaths of air.

* * *

Zoro smirked at the panting cook that was currently straddling his lap, his forehead pressed against his own as they both caught their breath.

"Maybe I am better with actions than words," Zoro said cockily.

"Whatever you shitty moss-head," Sanji said, using the insulting words as terms of endearment.

"You know..." Zoro began, his mind already far away in the honeymoon suite he had heard Nero mention, "Tonight is our honey moon..."

"Are you hinting at what I think you are hinting at you perverted marimo?" Sanji asked.

"I am not the pervert here, love-cook!"

"Whatever," Sanji repeated before diving back in for another kiss. This time, they let their hands freely explore the others body, which they had thought they had already know so well from previous fights. But this was so much different than fighting, yet so similar.

Zoro's hands slid over the cook's thin hips, pulling them closer to his own, feeling the cook's growing erection slide over his own half hard member, he moaned into Sanji's mouth, trying to convey his want and need.

He slid his greedy hands up Sanji's untucked dress shirt, running them shamelessly over his well-toned abs and up to his pecs. Smirking into their kiss, Zoro ran the pad of his thumb over Sanji's nipple before pinching and tweaking the bud into a hardened state. Moaning, Sanji pulled Zoro closer as an invitation to do more. Zoro complied.

Just as Zoro was unbuttoning the last button on Sanji's shirt, a gasp sounded from behind them followed by a triumphant "I told you so!"

Guiltly, the two newly weds turned around to face the rest of their crewmates. While all the men stared with various faces of shock at the scene in front of them, neither Nami nor Robin seemed at all surprised to find Sanji stradling Zoro's lap with Zoro unbuttoning the former's shirt.

"Pay up," Nami said, reaching out a hand. Sighing, everyone but Robin dug into their pockets and produced varying amounts of money.

"Wait," Zoro said, "you bet on us?"

"Of course! It was just a matter of time before you two released all of that sexul tension!" Nami stated.

"Oh my poor Nami-san! And Robin-chan! I am so sorry that you had to see that!"  
"Oh it is quite all right cook-san!" Robin said placatingly.

"So, can we get back to our honeymoon now?" Zoro asked impatiently, not at all mortified at being caught.

"What?! That is all you can think about?" Sanji cried.

"Uh, yes."

"This is going to be a very hard marriage..." Sanji said with a sigh.

**AN: SO? How did I do? Please tell me! And I just had to put Nami in there like that, I mean how could she not take advantage of that situation. BTW this fic was actually based on something! I did research *gasp*. It is based loosely on Roman gladiator fighting and Nero is based on a very insane Roman emperor. And, well that is it! Any comments, questions or suggestions please review! But no meanies who don't approve of yaoi or anything...I don't like meanies...they annoy me...so ya don't be mean! Lesson of the day everybody! **_**I should be a teacher!**_** Nah that would involve working...and children...eww and paper work...never mind I think I will stick with writing! Well bye!**


End file.
